Contemplation
by BlueMoonOnTheRise
Summary: Having just woken up after the events on the Statue of Liberty, Logan contemplates how he's managed to lose his heart - and who he's lost it to...
1. Chapter 1

**First X-Men fic :D **

**Rated T for a small amount (of fairly strong) language, but not too much. Nothing else to worry about :)**

**Hopefully the characters aren't too dodgily written, but I have only seen it twice, both times with missing bits (although different each time lol) :/**

**I don't own anything...but I bet you guessed :P**

It was completely dark. Pitch black, with not even the faintest flicker of light to penetrate it. Nothing.

Or, was there something? As time passed (and God knows how much time was passing in this nothingness) there came sharp stabs of almost unendurable pain – on his face, his back, slashes across his chest. Shit, that hurt.

Then, both the darkness and the pain slowly, very slowly, faded. The blackness became a soft, warm red: the type of colour you can see when all the lights are on, but you have your eyes squeezed shut against the artificial glare. The pain was still there, but less – just a few muted throbs every so often now.

There was sound too. The closest was a woman's, her voice soft, and unintelligible. There was a man too, and then, much to his surprise, an outburst of snarling and swearing, which he guessed was that of a young girl. She had a temper on her, that one. Strangely like his own.

Feeling gradually returned in this manner, the words became more intelligible, and then, just now, he felt delicate fingers slide up his bare chest, feeling under what he recognised as hospital dressings.

"That tickles," he protested, opening his eyes slowly, blinking in the sudden glare of florescent lights. Dr Grey was leaning over him, and a smile graced her face as his much larger fingers grasped hers, taking them off his chest. Hmm, she was still as gorgeous he'd remembered.

"That was a brave thing you did," she murmured, her dark eyes smouldering at him. He was taken back to that night, Rogue lying lifeless in his arms, a streak of white staining her dark hair, then the sudden pain as his wounds reopened, and then the blackness…well he damn hoped Marie had made it. He liked that kid.

"Did it work?" he asked, trying not to sound as worried as he felt. Because he was very worried. Not because he…well, it felt like she had always been there, ya know? He didn't want to have that taken away.

"Yeh – she's fine," Jean assured him, smiling again. "Took on a few of your more charming personality traits for a while – but we lived through it."

Well that was a pretty big relief if he was honest – not trying to get all emotional or anything, but Marie being dead would have upset him a fair amount. So was that what all the snarling had been about? It was hard to imagine a surly, aggressive Rogue, but it sounded pretty damn adorable.

"Good," he murmured back, allowing himself a small smile too.

"I think she's kind of taken with you."

"Well you can tell her…my heart belongs to someone else."

Whoah! That was just one step too far with the flirting. Sure, she was gorgeous, and looked shit hot in that tight black leather uniform (maybe Summers' wasn't quite as stupid as he had first seemed, sticking them in that leather, haha) but any sane man would notice that. Any male who wasn't instantly attracted to her was probably blind, but that was all it was. Attraction because of how she looked. This line of thought was getting way too emotional again, but unless he was very mistaken, Jean did not have his heart. It felt as though someone had it, but it wasn't the red-headed doctor.

"You and I – " she begun, and Logan felt an irrational stab of annoyance. He wished he'd kept his mouth shut now. He sat up suddenly, but she didn't jump, and he grabbed the shirt next to the bed, balling it up in his fist, and standing up.

"How's the Professor?" he asked roughly, pulling the shirt over his head, unconcerned by the slightly confused expression she was wearing. She'd get over it soon enough, she had one-eye for company anyhow. She didn't answer his question, and glancing to the bed next to his own, he could see that Xavier was awake, and fine. Really, he'd just asked for a change of subject.

"Where are you going?" she questioned him, frowning.

"To see Rogue," he replied, halfway across the room. "Want to see if she's alright."

"I told you, Logan, she's perfectly well."

The doctor seemed more annoyed than confused now, he could smell it on her, although her outward appearance was calm and unconcerned. Perhaps it had been a little careless, suggesting that his heart belonged to her – albeit completely accidental, he had just meant it to come out as some harmless flirting, didn't really think about what he was saying – but she did have Summers, so he couldn't understand this awkwardness. Still, he was Wolverine, and he didn't really take feelings into account if he wanted to go somewhere. And he wanted to see Marie. So he did, turning his back on her, wrenching open the door, and striding into the oversized mansion, looking for Rogue.

He picked up on her scent pretty quick, and spotted her sitting in the sun with that ice boy, and a girl he remembered could walk through walls – what was her name? Katie?…no…Kitty. That was it. He noticed that Marie was sitting on her gloved hands, and leaning ever so slightly away from the others, and he guessed she was still worried that she might accidentally brush them with any exposed skin. He felt a rather uncharacteristic rush of pity towards the poor girl, who, as Xavier had pointed out, would not be able to touch for the rest of her life.

The pity evaporated as he saw her eyes wander across the grounds, coming to rest on him. She gave him a huge smile, which he returned, grinning still wider as she leapt from the bench and ran over to him. Next thing he knew, she was hugging him tightly, laughing with relief. He was surprised at the contact, but held her close, grinning into her hair. Maybe she wasn't so worried about touching people. She just liked him better than the others.

"Nobody told me you were up again," she told him, sounding kind of resentful. "I was worried about you."

"Yeah, well, only just woke up. Just wanted to see you were ok, kid. Don't reckon Doctor Grey was happy with me running off though."

"I s'pose she wasn't," Rogue conceded. "Are you ok, Logan? I'm sorry you had to do that."

"I'm not," he told her, his eyes tracing the strands of white that framed her face "Couldn't have let you die, kid."

She smiled a bit at that, and glanced back at her friends, who were goggling at her, possibly because she had just thrown herself at grouchy Wolverine, when she made a point of avoiding any contact at all from anyone else, because of her death-skin. Logan followed her gaze, and scowled. Bloody gawking kids. She seemed to notice his annoyance.

"D'ya want to move?" she asked, her eyes meeting his again. Wow, she knew him well.

"So," he begun, as they walked slowly back to the mansion together, ignoring the funny looks a few of the students gave them. Most weren't interested, lying around in the late afternoon sun, chatting, oblivious to the fact that Logan and Marie had both nearly lost their lives, and were now up and about again. Not that he'd want them to. Never really been the kind of guy to want a load of half witted kids staring at him just because he saved someone, or came back alive from horrific injuries. He left that kind of thing for the showy hero types. Which reminded him…

"Jean told me you were pretty taken with me, after what happened," he blurted. Well fucking done, Logan. Foot stuck firmly in your mouth today. Halfway down your throat, rate you're going.

And now poor Rogue was going red, and he wished he could take back the words, and put them firmly back in his mouth where they belonged.

"Not that I believed her," he added gruffly, attempting to climb out of the pit he'd just managed to dig. "Always comes out with a load of crap, I s'pose. Just reckoned you ought to know."

"I think they all think that," she admitted very quietly, so that he had to move closer to her side to catch the rest of her words "I mean, sure I was worried: I woke up, and I felt your hand on my forehead, then saw you nearly fall off the statue of Liberty, blood everywhere. I don't see why not wanting you to die is a bad thing."

He nodded, and gave her a smile, slinging an arm carelessly round her shoulders, as they reached the front door, and the cool of the mansion.

"I certainly didn't want you to die, kid," he commented "Why e'nt they gossiping about me being taken with you?"

"I guess they wouldn't expect you to want someone like me."

Hmm, fair point. Still, just because she wasn't the normal type of girl he would go for, didn't mean they had any right to _assume_ that he wouldn't like her in that…God, he was messed up. Why was his brain twisting everything today? Even a short walk with Rogue had him questioning his feelings for his friend. It was silent again, but it was nothing unusual between them. Sometimes, it was better to sit (or walk in this case) in companionable silence, than force conversation. Both of them knew that, and would talk when they had something to say.

He thought back to that rather unfortunate comment he had made to Jean earlier, and frowned. He remembered thinking that while she didn't have his heart, he had thought that someone did. Someone…surely he should know who his heart belonged to! And surely – surely he, Wolverine, should bloody well be able to keep a tighter hold on his emotions. As far as he could remember, which wasn't really very far, he hadn't ever seriously cared about anyone – certainly not enough to start thinking stupid things like this. All the women to whom he'd been romantically linked in the past hadn't really lasted long…well, none of them had really stayed with him past the first night: and that was how he liked it. Always moving forwards, no regrets, nothing tying him down, and certainly a tight grip on his heart. He hadn't even really considered its existence before, except as a pump that kept the blood so often spilled, pumping round and round and round…

"Oh, I don't know," he said slowly, making her start slightly, not expecting his voice in the quiet.

"What?"

"I don't know," he admitted, sighing. "I'm trying to figure something out, but it won't come."

"Is this about your past?" she asked, looking concerned, and laying a gloved hand on his arm, gently. "I thought the professor said he'd help you find out about it."

"No," he said, slowly, trying, for once today at least, to pick his words carefully "Although I'm still gonna do that. No, I was just thinking about something I haven't really thought of before."

Wow. Something completely honest, and well thought out. That was a first.

"I guess you aren't gonna share then?" she asked hopefully, but when he didn't reply she didn't press it. That was a really good thing about Marie, she wasn't a nosey little brat like so many of her peers. Inquisitive, perhaps, but not sticking her nose in places where it wasn't wanted.

"I'll catch you later, Marie," he told her suddenly, taking one of her gloved hands in his for just a moment, then loping away from her. Just before he turned the corner, he had the sudden urge to look back, and saw her looking over her shoulder at him too, an odd expression on her face. Then she turned away, and he rounded the corner, and Rogue was out of sight.

**Reviews? I'm not entirely sure if this should be continued, or just stand as a little one-shot…thoughts on this? Love to know how I did, anyway...**

**C=**

**x**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a little different from the last one, because we've got some of Rogue's POV. After Logan, I thought she'd be easy to write, but she was actually harder xD**

**Thankyou to the lovely ****edq-ocd18****, ****xmngrl****, and ****desy**** for taking the time to review :D **

**Hope this lives up to expectations (:**

Rogue returned to her friends, taking her time, dragging her feet across the sweeping lawns, deep in thought. What could be wrong with Logan? She had assumed, of course, that the thing he was "trying to figure out" would be his past, or some aspect of it – a memory perhaps that he could almost access, but not enough for him to gain anything from it…just a few flashing images or something…

But something he'd never thought of before? That – that was odd. What kind of thing this something might be, was what she was really dying to know. Was it something big, significant and important…or was it just he'd thought of a new way to torment Scott, and was dying to try it out? She really, really wanted to turn straight back round, and pester him until he told her, but if he didn't want to share, she doubted she was going to get it out of him.

She was also thinking hard about the comment Dr. Grey had apparently made to him, about her affections towards him. She had foolishly hoped that whilst the staff suspected she held some feeling for him besides friendship, they would keep it to themselves, and not damn well tell him. The last thing she wanted was their friendship to disintegrate, because Jean couldn't resist telling Logan the latest gossip. Especially as she was almost entirely sure that she didn't harbour any such feelings for him.

Obviously there was a certain amount of affection there: he had been there for her when nobody else had been, something he didn't need to have done. She realised now that she had not saved his life at all, he would have been perfectly OK without her warning, and had nothing to gain by taking her with him. But still he had let her come along.

"Hey!" Kitty called to her as Rogue approached the bench, still deep in thought. She lowered her voice a bit as her friend sat down; slowly tucking her hair behind her ears, thankfully not feeling the need to shout their conversation across the lawn. "I didn't know Wolverine was still around. After the jet came back and he never reappeared, I figured he was probably gone for good."

"How'd you know about the jet leaving?" Rogue asked, stretching, and looking at her friend.

"I used the window, Rogue," Kitty grinned "Like the rest of the students. Not all of us have to get ourselves captured to see it."

"Does everyone really know all about it?" Rogue groaned, feeling slightly embarrassed. She knew there were rumours, but she hadn't realised quite how accurate they were.

"No, you told me, remember? While you were insulting Bobby, and smoking cigars."

She let out a sigh of relief and grinned at her friend. Kitty was probably one of her closest friends now (besides Logan of course) one of the few people who she felt really able to talk to. She was still having trouble being as close with Bobby as she might have liked, because of the incident when 'he' had told her leave, and that she was better off on her own. Although she now knew that it had been Mystique, it was still difficult to like him as much as she did Kitty and Logan, because it was his face that had once told her go away. Logan was still definitely her closest friend…

"Yeh, I do now," Rogue laughed, remembering with slight embarassment, how she had acted like Logan for several days after he had touched her. Not that there was anything wrong with how he acted, just that it suited him a whole lot better than her. She stood up as Kitty did so, and headed back towards the mansion with her – the air was getting colder, and neither of them was wearing a jacket. Almost immediately Kitty walked straight into a low hedge, and rolled her eyes, laughing at her own clumsiness

"Ugh, I'm just glad I can go through things," she told Rogue "or I think I'd be seeing a lot more of Dr Grey!"

Rogue giggled – it was true. Kitty was possibly one of the most unobservant people she knew when it came to walking into things. She had begun, in the early days of their friendship, by yelling and grabbing her friend to stop her walking into all the objects she seemed unable to avoid, but after a while, she had come to stop herself, and remember that Kitty's power prevented her from being hurt. She simply went through things. Sometimes, it was hard not to be jealous of other mutant's powers. Others didn't have to be afraid of touching people so as not to hurt them. Most people's powers had some kind of use, something that made it worth being different, being hunted even. Kitty was an example of this, Bobby could do amazing things with ice, Storm could control the weather…all incredible things that superheroes did in books and comics. Funnily enough, most of those stories missed out the girl with the deadly skin, meaning that no one could touch her. Rogue would never admit it out loud, but sometimes, in her head, she wished more than anything to have had another mutation, any other. She wasn't the whiny type, but sometimes it felt so, so unfair.

There was one mutation, however, she wasn't even slightly envious of, and that was Logan's metal claws.

"_Does it hurt?"_

_He had paused, and looked at her for a moment, then:_

"_Every time."_

She had felt those claws go through her, the night she had woken him, and he, lost in terrible memories had woken and slashed out at the nearest person. The pain had been horrific, and she couldn't imagine feeling that every time she needed to defend herself, or someone asked about her mutation. Perhaps he had a higher pain threshold than her, but she still didn't envy him those claws. She wondered if it bled when he released them, but if it did, then presumably his healing would sort it out before he slid the metal back into his arms.

"Rogue?" Kitty was saying, as they headed down the corridor, hearing the cheerful talk and clatter of cutlery draw ever closer. "You still with me?"

"Yeah," Rogue replied hastily, trying to think of what Kitty could possibly have been talking about. "Don't ya worry, I'm still here."

They walked into the dining room, where ten or so tables were crowded with students, laughing, talking, and eating. John and Bobby were sitting on a small circular table across the hall with Jubilee, and all three waved enthusiastically at Rogue and Kitty as they approached. They looked at each other, then picked their way through the clutter of chairs and students towards their friends. They were almost there, when Rogue spotted a very familiar face amongst the staff, sitting comfortably between Jean and Storm. Their eyes met for just a moment, and he smiled softly at her. Forgetting the mess of chairs she was navigating, Rogue returned the smile gladly.

"Rogue!" Jubilee screamed, and there was a loud crash, and a thud. Rogue lay on the floor alongside an upturned chair, some broken glass, and a boy a few years younger than her, looking completely stricken. He was staring at the mess of glass on the floor, that had been a cup a few moments ago. Rogue raised her head a bit, ready to laugh along with the rest of the students, then bow her head, her face pink with embarrassment, and sit down with her friends. She had expected to look up and see Logan chuckling along with the others, grinning at her clumsiness. What she had not expected, was to see his face right next to hers, looking just as worried as the young boy had looked.

"Shit, Marie, not again," Logan groaned, and Rogue was puzzled. Again?

It was then that she felt something hot and wet trickling down her neck, and she looked down, horrified to see a dark stain soaking into the fabric of her t-shirt, and feel a stab of glass where the blood was coming from. She looked back up at him, as if to say "Oh. That."

The next few minutes were a blur. Logan had her up in his arms, and Jean sprung from her seat, motioning for him to follow him. The corridors rushed past, changing from deep wood colours, to the polished metal of the lower floors, and what was doubtless their destination: the Infirmary.

"Logan, I'm fine," Rogue managed, looking desperately at the man who was carrying her tirelessly through the mansion. He gritted his teeth, and glared at her as he continued to hurry after Jean.

"You are not bloody fine, Marie," he growled from between his clenched teeth. She had a feeling he was going to add something, but it was at that point that they reached the infirmary, and Jean took control, directing Logan where to lay Rogue, then snapping at him to stay out of her way.

* * *

"I'm sure never gonna smile at you across the canteen again, kid," Logan commented, watching as Jean dabbed at the blood that was staining Rogue's front, cleaning the wound. She also carefully removed a few shards of glass that were still embedded there. She began to dress it in some white, hospital type dressing.

"Mmmm."

"Jean, you sure it wouldn't jus' be easier to…?" Logan asked, wiggling the fingers of his bare hand. "She's already lost tonnes of blood."

"I don't need both of you lying here unconscious, thankyou," she told him sharply, but he did notice her eyes flick towards Rogue's face: the girl was completely white.

He sighed, and dug his hands into his pockets impatiently.

"If you carry on doing this," he asked "How long will it take for her to recover?"

"I said no, Logan."

"If I touch her, she'll be alright quick as anything – "

"And you'll be out cold, again," the doctor persisted, starting to look just a little bit pissed. Good. "And she'll start smoking and yelling, like last time, and you'll be in here, with tubes sticking out of every bit of you, dead to the world."

"I don't care about myself, I want to know that Rogue is gonna be alright!"

He was shouting now, and advanced forwards, ready to do it, regardless of what Jean wanted. He reckoned he could over power her easy enough. Her medical crap might be good, but his healing was a surer way of making absolutely sure that Marie was not going to die.

However, before he could do anything, he found himself slammed into the wall, hardly able to move. Snarling angrily, his claws shot from his hands, and he a growl ripped from his throat as he glared at the red headed doctor, bending over his Marie, ignoring the one thing that would help her.

"You want to let me go?" he asked through clenched teeth, feeling another low growl escaping from his lips.

"Not if you're going to interfere, no."

"Please!" he almost begged, trying to let go of the anger still coursing through him. "Please let me help her. I'm not hurt, an' she's not as bad as before."

"I'm just trying to look after you…and her," Jean told him, letting him regain the use of his muscles, so he could move forwards again. Well, that was some bloody good reasoning, but did it mean he could do it? He'd heal anyway, and she wouldn't. Why was Jean making such a damn fuss?

"Fine," she said, rolling her eyes, and stepping back, with a resigned air. Excellent.

He moved to Rogue's side quickly, taking a deep breath as his hand hovered over her forehead. Then, slowly, his skin touched hers, and he felt that pull; that pull that was his mutation seeping from him, to the girl lying white and unconscious on the stark white hospital sheets.

"Come on Marie," he murmured, his fingers trailing across her cheek. Aware of Jean's watchful and concerned gaze, he let them drop, and as he did so, heard Marie's breathing become more even, and saw her slight form sit up, blinking.

"Logan?" she whispered, one gloved hand reaching his face as she too trailed her fingers slowly down his cheek. He wondered if he was wearing the same expression as her: confused, yet content at the same time. He felt like it.

"Marie. I'm here, kid, I'm here."

Then the last of his energy left him, and he slumped onto the floor, and the world disappeared.

**So there we go. Like? Not like? Only one way to tell me…**

**One chapter to go, I know where this is going now, haha.**

**:D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3! It's quite a long one, which I hope will make up for the relatively long wait between this and the last chapter. Is also the last chapter of the story, so I hope you enjoy. **

**Thanks to all reviewers to chapter 2! :D**

Logan opened his eyes blearily, and shook his head. This was the second time in far too few days he had been sucked into blackness, and awoken some time after, to find himself staring at the white of the Infirmary ceiling. He sat up, and was surprised to see that Marie was sitting in a chair near his bed, her face propped up on her hands.

"Hey," she said quietly, then raised her voice a little and turned away from him "Jean – he's awake."

"How long I bin out, kid?" he asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to face, and running a hand over his chin.

"Just a few hours," she told him "Logan, ya didn't have to do that, ya know."

"Yeah, I know," he said, blinking fast in the too bright lights. When would she and Jean get this into their heads? "I wanted to do it."

She smiled at that, and looked away a little shyly. Bless. He was struck with a strong urge to reach out and touch her face again, regardless of the consequences. It had felt good to feel her skin against his again, even if it could only be for the briefest of moments.

There were two things he knew for certain right then. One: he was beginning to wonder if it was Marie that was the answer to his question (and that was scary, that was really fucking scary – because he had been hoping that it would remained unanswered) and two: he really wanted a cigar.

At least there was something he could do about the second one. He picked up his jacket, which was lying next to the bed, and rummaged in the pockets. There was nothing there. Shit.

"You know where my cigars are, kid?" he asked Marie roughly, trying to forget what his mind had just discovered about her.

She grinned, somewhat guiltily.

"Jean took 'em, while ya were out cold," Rogue told him, her grin becoming wider as she continued "Said they wouldn't do you any good when ya'd just come round, an' it wouldn't kill ya to go without."

Logan ground his teeth together, and felt a low growl escape. Why was she looking so damn happy at his displeasure?

"I disagreed with her," she went on, going a bit red, to add to the grinning. "Reckoned you'd rather have 'em. So…I kinda nicked them back."

She put her hand into the pocket of her own jacket, and drew out the battered packet. It was so damn hard to stay cold towards her when she was being quite so adorable, and knowing him so well. He smiled, and she dropped them into his hand. They looked at each other for a few moments, and he felt so…well somehow, right…that he was beginning to wonder if it was such a bad thing, losing his heart to Marie.

"Rogue!" exclaimed the rather pissed off voice of Doctor Jean Grey, who had just appeared behind the girl in question. "I didn't confiscate those for you to give them to him anyway."

She rolled her eyes, and they came to rest on Logan's face. He noticed with a stab of annoyance that she was no longer looking as frustrated as she had been when looking at Rogue.

"I'm not letting you do that again," she told him firmly. He ignored her, extracting one cigar from the packet, lighting it, and sticking it firmly between his teeth; then shooting a smile at Rogue. She smirked at him behind the doctor's back. At least the kid had a sense of humour, unlike the other woman in front him.

Funnily, despite the fact he was doing his level best to irritate Jean, she seemed surprisingly unfazed by the fact that he was smoking in the Infirmary (a health hazard, surely?) when she had been so annoyed at Marie for stealing his cigars back. Did she suspect how he felt and was jealous? If she did…well he was only just coming to terms with it himself. He didn't need a sermon on the fact that Marie was just a kid. Did she think he hadn't noticed? And she was telepathic, right? Shiiiiit.

It was probably that telepathy that was causing the really odd look on her face, and he chuckled, standing up, and pulling a shirt on. Why was it always off every time he woke up in here? Turned out Jeannie did want to get his shirt off. He'd have loved to know that a few weeks ago. But now, he weren't entirely sure…

"C'mon, let's get out of here kid," he said, and she stood up, pulling up her long black gloves, making sure there was no exposed skin between them and her shirt. Not that he'd have minded in the slightest…no. Just a kid. Shut up, Logan.

As they reached the door, he slung his arm around her shoulders, as he had taken to doing. With the other he stuck his cigar in his mouth, occasionally sending puffs of smoke above their heads.

"I guess I'm gonna have to take better care of myself," Marie commented, leaning her head on his shoulder as they got into the cool metal lift, and the doors slid shut. "Can't knock you out every time I get cut."

That was true, he really would like to spend a bit more time awake, and a bit less lying shirtless in the Infirmary. Even if it did mean fewer times like this with Marie. Still, something that he certainly did like from the little healing sessions was getting to touch her skin, even for that short amount of time.

"Sure will do, darlin'" he said, snickering a little under his breath, she did get hurt unnecessarily often "I won't always be around to help."

"Wha'dya mean?" she asked, looking up at him, her eyes surprised.

"Professor X has found a place where I can start to find my past," he told her, feeling irrationally guilty. Damn, why did she have to look so disappointed? He never stuck around for anyone, and had never planned on, even if they got down on their knees and begged him. But Marie…well it felt like she'd absorbed Magneto's power or something and was sucking him back to her, stopping him going. Just that little look in her eye, and he wanted to hug her and promise he wouldn't go, not if she wanted him to stay. What was going on, Wolverine? How come you're suddenly so…committed to her or something? The few years he could remember (which was frustratingly few, which was why he was going to ignore Marie's strange pull, because he had to know just _who _he was) he had never ever felt this way. He had never wanted to. But now…well it was kinda nice, really. Felt like he had someone who'd always be there for him. Someone he knew he'd always be there for, if she needed him.

* * *

Rogue lay awake that night, thinking. She could hear Jubes and Kitty breathing evenly just a few metres away, but she couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about the place Logan had mentioned, where he was going to start to try to piece together his past. It had not for a moment occurred to her to ask to come along – he wouldn't want her tagging around after him, he'd want to make this particular journey on his own. Nonetheless, she was worried. She didn't want him to disappear suddenly, before he said goodbye. He wasn't exactly the type she could see settling down anywhere. He liked to wander. It was a miracle he'd stayed with the X-Men this long. She suspected Jean had something to do with that. Rogue was surprised to realise that she was a little jealous of the red headed doctor for that. Oh God…she didn't…

Yup. She did. She fancied Logan. Great.

Even in the dark she felt her cheeks burning, and was glad that both of her friends were asleep, not asking her eagerly why she was slowly turning bright red. It was beyond embarrassing to contemplate the news getting back round to Logan. She had been mortified enough to hear that he'd heard the previous (then untrue) rumours about her feelings. Imagine if he heard, and they were actually true.

There was no way she was going to be able to sleep now, so she swung her legs off the bed, grabbed a long pair of worn brown gloves from the chest next to her bed, and slipped out of the door.

It was pretty cold in the corridors at night, and Rogue begun to wish she had brought her jacket. The carpets whispered underneath her bare feet, occasionally sending little clouds of dust into the air. It was quiet and completely deserted. Perfect. Hopefully she could sort out this mess in her head before she had to face Logan in the morning.

A gloved hand suddenly grabbed her mouth and she struck out, struggled, tried to scream. Nothing worked – her captor held her to them with surprising strength. Mutant, then. She felt whoever it was dip their head, so that their mouth was nearly touching her ear. Maybe they didn't know about her power? Well, they were in for a shock if they moved one more millimetre…

"Hey, Marie," a rough and very, very familiar voice growled softly in her ear. The grip on her mouth was relinquished, and she whipped round, in disbelief.

"Logan!" she looked around, trying to think of a reason as to why she was walking the school this late. Come to think of it, why was _he _prowling around at this time? "Ah couldn't sleep."

* * *

She couldn't sleep? Well, he definitely couldn't. Couldn't stop wondering if she'd still be here when he got back. Would she have resolved the matters with her parents, and returned to them – they might have thrown her out, but they were family. He knew students were allowed to do that, if they wished: live as normal people in normal schools. Most preferred this place, where they didn't have to hide, but she might go back…

"Nah, me neither," he told her, and stopped. Should he try and voice some of what he was feeling? There was no one around after all. "I guess I didn't wanna take off without seeing you, kid."

"Me?" she repeats, almost incredulously, and judging by the blush on her cheeks, she didn't mean that to come out.

"Who else in this place would I wanna say goodbye to?" he asked her, completely unable to think of one. Sure, it would be nice to see some of the X-Men again, but there wasn't any of them in particular he'd really want to make the effort to see before he left.

"Dr Grey?" Marie manages, blushing an even deeper red. Logan grinned wolfishly at her embarrassment.

"Not over you," he manages, realising far too late that he was way out of his depth. Still, it was true. He moved towards her, and cupped her burning cheeks in his gloved hands. She looked completely stunned, but she wasn't pulling away, which was a bonus. Her eyes meet his, and very slowly, she curls one of her hands round his neck, and he smiles. They're very close now, just a few centimetres between them. He can feel her warm breath tickling the bare skin exposed by his shirt.

It was stupid, he knew. Wrong, he knew that too. Dangerous, even. But he did it anyway, because he couldn't tell her any other way. He bent down, and for the briefest moment, touched his lips to hers. He hadn't imagined quite how right that would feel.

"Logan!" she breathes, and he can hear alarm in her voice, but also happiness, which was betrayed by the massive grin across her face. He looks down at her, feeling his own matching smile spread across his face. By her expression, he could tell she was itching to reach up and kiss him again, but she was restraining herself to stop her from hurting him. Well, he could solve that one for her…

The second kiss was slightly longer and more forceful than the first, and he begun to feel that draining that happened whenever he touched her. With a sigh, he broke away, and leant against the wall, trying not to pass out. It could be hard to explain why he was out cold this time.

"Y'all right?" she asked, looking a little guilty "I'm – "

"Don't you dare apologise for that," he told her, managing to stand quite steadily, and grinning. She grinned too.

"OK."

A shuffling noise at the end of corridor made him stop, and he held up a hand in Marie's direction, warning her to stay quiet. He didn't recognise the person's scent, it was odd, and his claws shot from his arms instinctively. A growl built in his chest as the person approached. Then, listening harder, he realised that it was only Storm, and she was not in their corridor at all, she was walking along the one adjacent to theirs, and had walked straight past it. He let out his breath, and retracted his claws back into his arms.

He felt warmth on his hand, and looked down: Marie was holding one of his hands, tracing her fingers across the fresh holes in his gloves. Her face was concerned, and he let her remove the glove, and continue to run her fingers over his freshly healed wounds. He hadn't forgotten she'd asked whether it hurt. She was the only person who'd ever asked, and so the only person he'd ever told.

"I should probably get back to bed," Marie said, looking up at him, still holding his hand, and smiling shyly.

"Sleep well," he told her, pressing one last fleeting kiss to her lips.

* * *

Lying in bed, Rogue thought that she was in an even worse state for sleeping than she had been before meeting Logan. Now, her mind kept replaying those three kisses, and she can't keep the smile off her face. She had been wrong; he didn't like Dr Grey as much as he appeared to. He felt for her, as she did him. Reflecting on the events of the past half hour, she came to realise that what she did feel for Logan went far beyond the crush she had thought it to be, less than an hour earlier…

Still smiling, she rolled onto her side, and closed her eyes.

Rogue woke only a few hours later, remembering instantly the events of the previous night, and jumping straight out of bed. Glancing at the alarm clock lying next to Jubilee's sleeping form, she saw it was only 6:00am. There was no way she'd be able to get any more sleep now, so she grabbed some jeans, and a white t-shirt, along with her long brown gloves, and pulled them on hurriedly. Hungry, she decided that an early breakfast would be a good idea, and left the room silently, careful not to wake her friends.

Something that Rogue had not bargained for was the presence of all the X-Men, as she entered the dining room. Xavier was leaning back in his wheelchair, talking to Scott and Jean about something, while Logan and Storm were yawning together at the table nearest the kitchen, Storm eating a slice of toast, Logan eating what looked like half the food in the kitchen. She felt herself go red as she passed them, wondering if he had slept as little as she had, thinking about her. She dismissed the thought – of course he hadn't. It was then that she remembered the presence of Professor Xavier, and went even brighter red. Perhaps walking into the room reminiscing kissing Logan hadn't been the best idea. She hurried into the kitchen, hoping that no one had seen the florescent red human that had just entered the room, least of all her telepathic headmaster.

Reaching for a packet of cereal, she realised that she had been noticed, because someone had just followed her in, and was now standing behind her. Grinning.

"Are you tryin' to ignore me, darlin'?" Logan drawled, leaning against the doorframe casually, and clearly laughing at her embarrassment.

"Nah, I'm not," she mumbled back, pouring some flakes into a bowl, trying not to betray her shaking hands. It didn't work. Not with Logan's heightened senses and everything. He crossed the room, and stood directly behind her, nuzzling the top of her head affectionately. It was very distracting.

"You worried Wheels'll find out?" he asked, watching her take the milk from the fridge, and grab a spoon.

"Yeh," Rogue admitted, twisting her hair in her hands. "It's so annoying not being able to keep your thoughts to yourself."

"Damn telepaths," he replied, grinning, and helping himself to a handful of cornflakes from the open box. "Reckon Xavier got a pretty clear picture of what I was thinking about this morning, judging by his expression. Jean too."

"Great."

It wasn't so much that Rogue minded what people thought about her relationship with Logan, or even if they noticed that it had progressed beyond friendship. It was the fact that the two people she'd want to know least in the world, now probably knew. She knew Xavier wouldn't approve of the vast age gap, and…well it was obvious at one point Logan had shown interest in Jean, and it made her a little uncomfortable to know that Jean knew. Still, it was nice to know that he hadn't just forgotten – she had been slightly worried that it hadn't meant as much to him as it had to her. It was nice to know that she had been wrong.

"I'm leaving, you know," he told her, after a pause, when the only noise was Rogue eating her cereal, and the talk of the staff just outside. "Today."

"Ya want to go on your own." Rogue said, not looking up from her cereal. She had known all along he would leave, and that he would want to undertake the journey to his past alone, and wasn't going to stop him. At least their feelings towards each other were out in the open before he left. She hoped he'd come back for her, now.

* * *

It was late afternoon, and rays of sunshine poured into his room, drenching his belongings with its deep gold glow. He desperately wanted to go, but at the same time, there was that strange pull that Marie held. It wasn't like Magneto's power, or even the pull he felt when he touched her skin: those were both painful and unnatural. Her pull felt far more right, and he wanted to obey it, rather than trying to fight it, like he would the others. This time though, he had to fight it, because he was going. He looked at the rucksack lying on the table next to him, and with a sigh, slung it onto his back.

"Rogue will still be here when you return," said a voice from behind him. Xavier. Didn't know he was listening in to his thoughts. He managed a smile in the old man's direction. "I must admit, it was…interesting to hear both of you thinking about the same thing this morning."

The professor was chuckling a little, and Logan could see that he wasn't pissed off about their relationship. On the contrary, he had a feeling the old man had known all along: before they had. Still…

"Would'ya mind not listening in to my thoughts in a mornin'?"

As he made his way to the front doors he could hear the students laughing and talking, and, listening very carefully, he picked out Marie's voice, cheering as she won some game or other she was having with those ice and fire boys, and a girl too, the one who had screamed her name, that day when she'd cut herself on the glass. He smiled: at least the last memory he'd have of her on this journey was her happy, even if not with him. However, as he headed to the door, he heard the very footsteps he's hoped would appear. She'd spotted him, clearly, as he trudged (deliberately slowly, he had to admit) past the doorway.

"Ya tryin' to get away without saying goodbye?" she asked, frowning a little. Perhaps she feared that she wouldn't see him again, as he did with her. If he had any say in it, he was definitely coming back for her.

"Course not," he told her, thinking. How could he show her that he was coming back as soon as he had found what he was looking for? Suddenly, an idea struck him. "Tell you what," he said, reaching his hands to his neck, and fumbling with the chains that hung there. He removed his dog tags, caught her hand in his, and coiled them into it. He saw her eyes widen a bit: she knew they were important to him.

"I'll be back for these," he told her, bringing her closed hand to his lips for a moment. Then he turned, and walked out of the front doors. It was good, to be on the road again. But he'd be back, sooner or later.

And it wasn't just the dog tags he was returning for …

**So that's it! I really enjoyed writing this, so hope everyone enjoyed reading it too. I hope to write some more X-Men stuff soon – as soon as I've tracked down and watched the 2****nd**** and 3****rd**** movies!**

**Reviews, as always, are very much appreciated.**


End file.
